Feel calmer, focused, and accomplish what's important to you.

Posts tagged ‘doing your best’

You Are Amazing!

You are AMAZING.

Truly, you ARE!  However, if “I’m not that bad” is as much as you can manage right now, please stop for a moment and find a statement that does not have a “not” in it.  Our brains disregard those negatives and tend to focus on the rest of the sentence.  Hence, “I’m that bad” is how your brain is translating it for you.  Perhaps not what you meant to say though…

Now, if you can say that with the positive twist it can have (“bad” meaning awesome…), then GO for it!  However, if it feels negative for you, then by all means, please change it to something like “I’m OK.”  Or “I’m doing the best I can.” Or some such phrase, OK?

Even better, however,

TRY “I am amazing!”

1) Get out a sheet of paper and write down “I am amazing” on the first line.

2) Then, have a dialogue with it.  What’s your FIRST response?  The FIRST thing you hear in your head?  Write down that response.  If it’s not, “I know!” then it might be something like, “No I’m not” or “That’s not true” or whatever.  Write it down.

3) THEN write “I am amazing” again.

4) And write down your response.  Could be the same thing.  Could be something different.  Doesn’t matter.  Write it down.

5) Keep going back and forth between “I am amazing” and whatever your response to that is.  Don’t over-think it; just go about it like you’re playing with it.  Because you are.

At your essence, you ARE amazing.

Each of us is amazing because of the uniqueness of who we are and what is possible for us.  Amazing, I say!

Try this out.  See what you experience.  Perhaps your experience will be nothing less than amazing, as an accurate reflection of who you truly are!

Comments?  Questions? Would love to hear from you by posting a comment on this article or by contacting me in the following ways:

1) Email me at LightSpiritCoach@aol.com.  (See the form below to make it easy.)

2) Call me at (573) 446-8790.

3) Reply to this article (by clicking on “LEAVE A COMMENT” at the bottom of the article, below the email form, by “CATEGORY”.  Those comments are usually published, so let me know if you do not want me to publish your comment.)

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Would love to hear from you in any of those ways!

Lullaby…and Good Night…

Sleep, glorious sleep, why are you so elusive?  For me, anyway.  How about you?  Are you getting enough sleep?  Are you getting quality sleep?  I don’t remember sleep being so problematic when I was a kid.  But, it does seem to be problematic now, so it deserves my attention to make it the best I can.

“Getting enough sleep allows you to feel more rested and be more focused.”

No doubt.  But I’m not getting enough sleep.  Are you?  What can I do to improve this important area of my life?

The obvious answer is to get more sleep!  Yeah, right.  I know I need to get more sleep.  You probably know the same thing.  But you’re not, are you?  Why not?  Oh, for probably a hundred reasons or so.  OK, I’m exaggerating.  But, clearly, if it were easy to get enough quality sleep, we’d all be doing that, right?  One of THE MOST IMPORTANT things I learned in grad school was this.

“We’re always doing the best we can with what we’ve got.”

Credit goes to Dr. John McGowan for having repeated that sentence enough times during his counseling class that it stuck with me.  And I am so grateful because it provides a compassionate view of the way we’re doing things.  He didn’t say, “And we can’t do any better.” What would have been the point of being a helping professional?  It bears repeating.  “We’re always doing the best we can with what we’ve got.”

So, if I go with what I learned from Dr. McGowan, somehow I must be in need of something I “don’t got,” right?  What is it that I might be missing?  The first thing to recognize is that it could either be internal or external.  Internally, it might be something physical, such as feeling too hot or too cold, or having some pain that I’m not able to ignore.  Or it might be something on my mind that is worrying me.  It could also be something external, such as my old, in-need-of-being-replaced bed, or loud thunder or a dog barking or needing to care for a baby or a sick child.  The list could go on and on and on and on…  But you probably already know what your reasons are.  So let’s follow up on that.

Acknowledgement and Compassion

The next question is, “Have you really acknowledged all of those things that are making if difficult for you to sleep well?  Really acknowledged them?  Like a wonderful friend would do if you actually told them all of the things you are contending with on your path to sleep?  They’d say something like, “Wow!  That’s really a lot!  That sounds really tough!”  They wouldn’t say, “Buck up and deal with it!”  But I bet you are telling yourself that.  Or perhaps you fluctuate between, “Buck up and deal with it,” and “Oh, there’s no hope; it’ll never change; I’ll never get more sleep!”  If so, just tell yourself, “Oh, that’s right.  I’m human.  I forgot for a while there.”

That’s the kind of compassion I’m talking about.  The kind that recognizes that you do indeed have your challenges and that you are indeed doing the best you can with what you’ve got, and that

You deserve compassion and TLC.

Just because.  Just because you’re human, not to mention that we all function more effectively with a bit of compassion.  So, perhaps you could offer yourself some, or ask a dear friend to listen and let you cry on their shoulder because it’s been really hard…  Having that compassion can give you a bit of relief and can often help you towards figuring out what it is that you might need to do to get more sleep.

If you just jump to making a change, it doesn’t always stick.  Why not?  Lots of reasons, but one is that it’s important to make sure that you

clearly appreciate and understand the problem

so that you have a chance of

choosing the best solution for you!

What works well for me may not work well for you and vice versa.  In 12-Step meetings there’s a reminder to practice

1) Awareness

2) Acceptance

3) Action

They’re in that order for a good reason!  You first need to be aware of a problem before you can come to some acceptance of it before you can take appropriate action, not just any action, but action that is appropriate for you and for your situation!

Next week I’ll take a look at possible slumber strategies. Perhaps this week you might practice awareness or acceptance of your sleep issues so that you are one step closer to taking the action that is appropriate for you to get more of the sleep that you may be dreaming of!

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